True or False ? "I wear (whichever) Fragrance to please MYSELF".

[SixCats]

After first starting at Basenotes, I realised that most of my scents were Fougeres or Ambery Fougeres - because that was what I liked best. But then I felt there was some sort of a sameness about them.

Grant had a Fragrance-Suggestor at Basenotes at the time. I used it to go and check out fragrances that I thought were either Ho-Hum or that I really didn't like much. Then I forced myself to wear them - and ponder what it was about them that some people liked, and what had been in the minds of the perfumers who created them.

So I don't necessarily wear fragrances I love. I'll even wear Grey Flannel sometimes and, even after 20 years, wonder how anyone could like it.
It keeps me amused.
Cheers,
Renato

Hi Renato. Interesting, I like it! I too of course "experiment" with (as many here know) the "unique" Fragrances which I tend to wind up loving.
WHAT ? Ooh Renato, while I was late to the party, I absolutely LOVE "Gray Flannel !" My only gripe with GF is, it's too short lived.

Tom in Maine (aka SixCats!)

 

[SixCats]

My answer to your question would be TRUE (I wear for me)
I think some people may have misunderstood the TRUE/FALSE thing and have said the wrong one. Or I've rly misjudged them (@hednic for example I would have thought you wear for you)

Got it! Thanks.

SixCats!

 

[Renato]

Hi Renato. Interesting, I like it! I too of course "experiment" with (as many here know) the "unique" Fragrances which I tend to wind up loving.
WHAT ? Ooh Renato, while I was late to the party, I absolutely LOVE "Gray Flannel !" My only gripe with GF is, it's too short lived.

Tom in Maine (aka SixCats!)

Hi Tom,
It was Basenotes member Russlan who first tried telling me that I should give Grey Flannel another try, saying to wear it with a leather jacket and see what happens.

Admittedly, after an hour and a half or so, the scent becomes sort of passable to my nose for the next six hours - but that first hour and a half - I'm not happy.

My bottle is from way back in 2001, and it is anything but short lived. Has there been a reformulation?
That said, I've always been fond of the somewhat artificial smelling Eau De Grey Flannel, which doesn't have much by way of fans here.
Cheers,
Renato

 

[SixCats]

Hi Tom,
It was Basenotes member Russlan who first tried telling me that I should give Grey Flannel another try, saying to wear it with a leather jacket and see what happens.

Admittedly, after an hour and a half or so, the scent becomes sort of passable to my nose for the next six hours - but that first hour and a half - I'm not happy.

My bottle is from way back in 2001, and it is anything but short lived. Has there been a reformulation?
That said, I've always been fond of the somewhat artificial smelling Eau De Grey Flannel, which doesn't have much by way of fans here.
Cheers,
Renato

Hi Renato, Wow a 2001 bottle of Gray Flannel. Now that's cool! While I have been long aware of GF, I think (early on) I was too much of a Fragrance "snob" and (wrongfully) thought the likes of GF was beneath me. Duhhhh. Of course, this poor attitude of mine was very early on my Fragrance journey (circa 2003'ish). Of course today (with the help & guidance of so many knowledgeable past and present Basenoters) I' became (after many years) to the understanding that there are MANY excellent (price friendly and quality made) "Designer" Fragrances such as CARON, Lalique, Boucheron, Davidoff, L'Occitane, Dail, Bogart, etc. I'm not sure what it is about "Gray Flannel" however (for me) I think GF is about THE best (INexpensive & available today) Cologne I've ever put my Nose! My only wish for GF is that, I wish it had longer Legs.

Regards,
SixCats! (aka Tom in Maine)

 

[Renato]

Hi Renato, Wow a 2001 bottle of Gray Flannel. Now that's cool! While I have been long aware of GF, I think (early on) I was too much of a Fragrance "snob" and (wrongfully) thought the likes of GF was beneath me. Duhhhh. Of course, this poor attitude of mine was very early on my Fragrance journey (circa 2003'ish). Of course today (with the help & guidance of so many knowledgeable past and present Basenoters) I' became (after many years) to the understanding that there are MANY excellent (price friendly and quality made) "Designer" Fragrances such as CARON, Lalique, Boucheron, Davidoff, L'Occitane, Dail, Bogart, etc. I'm not sure what it is about "Gray Flannel" however (for me) I think GF is about THE best (INexpensive & available today) Cologne I've ever put my Nose! My only wish for GF is that, I wish it had longer Legs.

Regards,
SixCats! (aka Tom in Maine)

Hi again Tom,
I certainly don't disagree with you about there being many excellent, price-friendly, quality fragrances. Those who disagree with that usually have some quip about "synthetic".

It's a shame you started around 2003ish. Just two years earlier, one could still get unreformulated scents that people before me here praised a lot, but which left me somewhat aghast in the same manner as Grey Flannel did. Polo green, Paco Rabanne PH, Quorum and Trussardi Uomo were somewhere between pretty awful to hideous to my nose. However, just a few years later the newer versions were toned down and I liked them (I know it wasn't a case of me just getting used to them, because I still have small bottles of old Paco Rabanne and Quorum). But I suspect that if you love Grey Flannel, you would have have also been very impressed with them.
Cheers,
Renato

 

[andym72]

I think for most of the public, buying a fragrance is no different to buying sharp looking clothes or getting a neat haircut.

It not really about pleasing other people, but it is about getting feedback from others, even if it’s just non verbally, that you look good in those clothes, with that haircut, and smell good wearing that frag.

That’s re-affirming how you feel about how you look and smell already, and gives some “positive strokes” as well.

So it’s about confidence and well being, really.

For me, it’s about pleasing myself and at the very least not alienating others (it’s all too easy to be antisocial with fragrance. No one wants a “OMG that smells like Bigfoots dick” moment…)

 

[whiskyrocks]

For me it depends on what occasion I intend to wear a particular scent for. In general I tend to buy what I like and what I think goes well with me. That said, for special occasions with the mrs. (date night, anniversary, etc.) I try to find something she likes, which can be...challenging at times. But it is nice when she comments she likes a particular fragrance.

 

[N.CAL Fragrance Reviewer]

I would wear a fragrance because I want to but not to please myself.

 

[L'Homme Blanc Individuel]

I think the whole "I wear whatever I want" mentality is juvenile. I mean, come on now. Nothing is more comfortable than flannel and sweatpants, but is that REALLY what you want to wear to work? Or on a date? Or any time you're leaving the house?

I only buy scents I love, thus I am pleased by what I wear.

When I'm choosing what to wear - and this is true for my clothes as well as my fragrances - I think about my plans for the day, and I wear whatever fits best.

 

[Jean-Sté]

I buy and wear what I like. I don't try to attract people with a fragrance because there's absolutely zero guarantee that a person I would want to attract will like the fragrance that I'm wearing.

This.

 

[SixCats]

I would wear a fragrance because I want to but not to

I think the whole "I wear whatever I want" mentality is juvenile. I mean, come on now. Nothing is more comfortable than flannel and sweatpants, but is that REALLY what you want to wear to work? Or on a date? Or any time you're leaving the house?

I only buy scents I love, thus I am pleased by what I wear.

When I'm choosing what to wear - and this is true for my clothes as well as my fragrances - I think about my plans for the day, and I wear whatever fits best.

L'Homme Blanc Individuel, when I said: "I wear whatever I want", that statement refers to "Fragrances". This is to say, my Fragrance wearing choice will not be swayed by current trends/fads/advertising etc. In other words (I too) "only buy scents I love, thus I am pleased by what I wear".

SixCats!

 

[Bavard]

True or False? "I wear (whichever) fragrance to please myself."

True. No one else is making me. I like to wear perfume from my collection of favorites that people around me also like because having other people saying nice things about them is fun for me - again, it comes back to what I want. I'm a total hedonist.

 

[ultravisitor]

I think the whole "I wear whatever I want" mentality is juvenile. I mean, come on now. Nothing is more comfortable than flannel and sweatpants, but is that REALLY what you want to wear to work? Or on a date? Or any time you're leaving the house?

I only buy scents I love, thus I am pleased by what I wear.

When I'm choosing what to wear - and this is true for my clothes as well as my fragrances - I think about my plans for the day, and I wear whatever fits best.

Well...right. I don't think any of us who "wear what we want" are any different. When we say that we wear what we want, it means that our own preferences are our main and first--and sometimes only--consideration. Like, if it's 110 degrees outside and I'm going to the beach, I won't wear Ombre Nomade because that's not what I want to wear in that situation. When I figure out what it's going to be, it's going to be something that I want to wear in that particular situation (which would probably be Acqua di Sale), and whether or not I receive compliments on it or am pleasing others by the choice is not going to be something I'll be thinking about.

Also, I almost never want to wear flannel and sweatpants. I'm actually one of those people who showered and got dressed every single day when we first went into lockdown in March 2020.

 

[milkbaby]

So if you're only pleasing yourself, then would you or would you not still be master of your own domain? 🤔😅

 

[ultravisitor]

So if you're only pleasing yourself, then would you or would you not still be master of your own domain? 🤔😅

Why shouldn’t anyone be the master of their own domain? If you don’t know how to take care of your own “domain”—it is, after all, yours and always has been before it was touched by anyone else—you can’t expect anyone else to know.

 

[oamkbonor]

If it's casual I wear what ever I like. If I have a business meeting or I attend a funeral I select my scent by what I think is appropriate for that situation.

 

[enframing]

I usually wear whatever I want to please myself. However:
1) When I plan to be in public, I’ll wear something I don’t think will offend others.
2) I make it a point not to be offensive to my wife!

This.

I buy what I like, but I may not wear all of it in public.

 

[SixCats]

So if you're only pleasing yourself, then would you or would you not still be master of your own domain? 🤔😅

FUNK MASTER!

SixCats!

 

[Zenwannabee]

I like the “it’s a mixed bag” answer. At my stage in life, I do tend to wear what I want. However, working in an office every day, I don’t wear Dior Homme Intense or Joop! to work as those scents for me say something other than “office.” Also, I’ve been married 30+ years. I definitely want to please and impress my wife, but I’m not afraid of not getting a date if she dislikes my scent—well, other than if I’m wearing Jaipur (or Grey Flannel, two scents where our tastes completely diverge. Joop! too, now that I think of it).

However, back to the mixed bag metaphor, although the NYTimes recently wondered when fragrance stopped being about sex appeal, I don’t think it ever has. Every fashion (and other) magazine is loaded with scent strips to inhale, and the images depicted are anything but monastic. And the fragrances flying off Macy’s shelves are mainly/mostly/all about increasing one’s attractiveness. It may be “wear what you want,” but also to wear in order not to offend, and to have others find you the cat’s meow. As has been said earlier, to be that meow, you’re going to have to have more than a swell fragrance, but you get my point.

I see this question the way I see questions about art or other collecting/connoisseurship, whether it’s wine, coffee, whiskey, paintings or books. To many consumers, a glass of wine or a painting is either a thumbs up or down, and would I hang it in my living room. Other nuances may or may not be all that important. For me with fragrance they definitely are, which is why I love Basenotes and learning from and discussing with you all. 🙂

 

[Hugh V.]

It's a mixed bag for me.

I have two categories for my fragrance purchases:
1) what I like, regardless of how challenging/odd/out of fashion it might be
2) and what I like, that I also think others will like. Or at the very least find moderately pleasant or inoffensive.

These days I lean more towards the second one. As much as I love collecting fragrances and experiencing them, I think that for my own purposes, I've overthought the whole concept. When I do get compliments, they're all over the place, and some of them conflicting with one another. Some people like vintage Drakkar Noir on me, some say Curve should be my signature. Others say they like Grey Flannel (shocking to me).

I don't like to wear fragrances that are challenging, but I don't like fragrances that start up positive conversations unless it's from my s/o. I prefer just subtle stuff that's more akin to an aftershave, sports deodorant or shower gel--just subdued.

 

[rexsport]

A lot of thoughtful answers. I have recently posted on here that I buy (and now collect) fragrances for myself; that I like to smell them as long into the day as possible and I don’t really consider what others may think about my fragrance choice. In reading the original post and the previous responses it occurs to me that my fragrance decisions were not always so self centered. As a young single man ( decades ago) my choice of “cologne “ was generally made by someone else. The cute salesperson who told me how irresistible I was wearing the sampled product almost always led to a purchase. Or maybe it was the print ads just reeking of sure fire sexual conquests if I wore the product. Young vanity is easily swayed! I will admit to simply asking the sales lady what was the biggest seller so I could be as “cool” as everyone else. Oh how time and many years of happy married life changes a man. Today I wear only what I want to wear(unless my wife vetoes it).🙄

 

[PrinceRF]

I wear fragrances for my own enjoyment, but I do consider the occasion and appropriateness of my selection.

 

[SixCats]

It's a mixed bag for me.

I have two categories for my fragrance purchases:
1) what I like, regardless of how challenging/odd/out of fashion it might be
2) and what I like, that I also think others will like. Or at the very least find moderately pleasant or inoffensive.

These days I lean more towards the second one. As much as I love collecting fragrances and experiencing them, I think that for my own purposes, I've overthought the whole concept. When I do get compliments, they're all over the place, and some of them conflicting with one another. Some people like vintage Drakkar Noir on me, some say Curve should be my signature. Others say they like Grey Flannel (shocking to me).

I don't like to wear fragrances that are challenging, but I don't like fragrances that start up positive conversations unless it's from my s/o. I prefer just subtle stuff that's more akin to an aftershave, sports deodorant or shower gel--just subdued.

Hello Hugh. I must say, you approach to Fragrances is very well thought out! I too of late (STOP the Presses!) have also been buying more subtle type Fragrances (such as my very recent purchase of Caron" Pour Un Homme de Caron") which I VERY much like!

Hugh! (I'm finding this shocking) Hugh said:

"Others say they like Grey Flannel (shocking to me)."

Too funny! I admit, I was VERY late to the Party trying G. Beene "Gray Flannel" however, I seriously can not think of another Fragrance that smells so extraordinary/wonderful that can be purchased so inexpensively! I absolutely adore "Gray Flannel".
Hugh, I think perhaps due to my getting older, I am becoming more of a "throw back" with my choice of Fragrances. Perhaps not completely, but, I find myself more interested in more "Historical" Fragrances as well. Thanks Hugh.

Tom in Maine (aka SixCats!)

 

[SixCats]

A lot of thoughtful answers. I have recently posted on here that I buy (and now collect) fragrances for myself; that I like to smell them as long into the day as possible and I don’t really consider what others may think about my fragrance choice. In reading the original post and the previous responses it occurs to me that my fragrance decisions were not always so self centered. As a young single man ( decades ago) my choice of “cologne “ was generally made by someone else. The cute salesperson who told me how irresistible I was wearing the sampled product almost always led to a purchase. Or maybe it was the print ads just reeking of sure fire sexual conquests if I wore the product. Young vanity is easily swayed! I will admit to simply asking the sales lady what was the biggest seller so I could be as “cool” as everyone else. Oh how time and many years of happy married life changes a man. Today I wear only what I want to wear(unless my wife vetoes it).🙄

Love it rex! Great response!

SixCats!

 

[andym72]

I think the whole "I wear whatever I want" mentality is juvenile. I mean, come on now. Nothing is more comfortable than flannel and sweatpants, but is that REALLY what you want to wear to work? Or on a date? Or any time you're leaving the house?

I would agree that having no consideration for others and overspraying is juvenile.

But I will very occasionally purposely wear a fragrance that trends more "youthful" when I'm wearing a more formal outfit, to create a little intentional "clash" or "tension". Usually when I'm being taken to an event that I'm really not in the mood for that requires me to dress up formally. Although never to the point that I'm being obnoxious. It is me signalling that I am undermining and want to undermine the formality.

I do remember getting talking to a teenage guy in Boots (main UK pharmacy chain and likely biggest retailer of fragrances here), while I was going around sampling what new stuff they had. He'd come in to use the sample bottle of 1 Million (I think, this part of the memory is a little hazy. But it was something strong and targeted at his age group) as a "top up". And he dumped 8 or 10 sprays of the bottle on himself, not all on his neckline or down his top but all over his clothes.

And I said to him, what are you doing that for? Why are you putting so much on?

And his answer was "Because I wanna smell good, bruv. Pull in the ladies, ya know?"

And I replied "That's not how you pull in the ladies. With that much 1 Million on, they will smell you coming a mile off, but once they get to within a metre, they won't be able to breathe, they will be choking. What you've got there is not a scent, it is a stink. You've just turned that £80 bottle of cologne into Bug Repellent. If you are doing it to cover up another stink, that's no good. If your clothes stink, go change. If you stink, go shower. Then put on 2 sprays of something strong like that, or 4 of something average strength. You want her to be up close sniffing your neck and still not having to gasp for air".

And I was amazed he didn't just tell me "what's your problem?". He started nodding instead.

And I used to work in an office where one of my mates, Chris, had one frag and one frag only and that was Le Male (and likely an older, stronger formulation of Le Male too), and he'd completely load up on it every morning , and within half an hour of coming in, the seating space for like 60 people smelt of nothing but Le Male!

The point being, if you are "that guy", you are being like a teenager, like the guy I met in Boots, even if your frag bomb of choice is something distinguished, old school and not sweet at all but equally nuclear to the likes of Joop Homme, Le Male and 1 Million. Something like Antaeus for instance. If you are going to be in a confined space with others then go easy on the trigger, or pick something else.

I like some strong stuff, I do get that people think what is the point of buying something that is weak, doesn't last and that no-one else can smell. I'm a fan of Joop Homme. But I mainly only use 1 spray of it, 2 at most if I'm not expecting to be around a lot of people that day. I don't want to be choking myself with the stuff. I wanna smell good, and I want others to be drawn in by me smelling good, I want to be sociable. I don't want to be Ground Zero of a Nuclear Frag Attack.

 

[ultravisitor]

I like some strong stuff, I do get that people think what is the point of buying something that is weak, doesn't last and that no-one else can smell. I'm a fan of Joop Homme. But I mainly only use 1 spray of it, 2 at most if I'm not expecting to be around a lot of people that day. I don't want to be choking myself with the stuff. I wanna smell good, and I want others to be drawn in by me smelling good, I want to be sociable. I don't want to be Ground Zero of a Nuclear Frag Attack.

Same. I don't really understand the overspraying bros, and I've never heard of anyone who thinks an oversprayer smells as awesome as the oversprayer thinks he smells. A good fragrance can become offputting when oversprayed, and an already bad fragrance will be made worse with overspraying.

 

[slpfrsly]

I do remember getting talking to a teenage guy in Boots (main UK pharmacy chain and likely biggest retailer of fragrances here), while I was going around sampling what new stuff they had. He'd come in to use the sample bottle of 1 Million (I think, this part of the memory is a little hazy. But it was something strong and targeted at his age group) as a "top up". And he dumped 8 or 10 sprays of the bottle on himself, not all on his neckline or down his top but all over his clothes.

And I said to him, what are you doing that for? Why are you putting so much on?

And his answer was "Because I wanna smell good, bruv. Pull in the ladies, ya know?"

And I replied "That's not how you pull in the ladies...

Same. I don't really understand the overspraying bros, and I've never heard of anyone who thinks an oversprayer smells as awesome as the oversprayer thinks he smells. A good fragrance can become offputting when oversprayed, and an already bad fragrance will be made worse with overspraying.

There's something be said for what you're calling overspraying, though.

Overspraying is only applicable when the fragrance's projection is overwhelming within the relevant environment. In clubs - places that induce sensory deprivation due to overwhelming noise, light, and also scent - different rules apply. What would be overspraying in one situation isn't overspraying in another.

The problem with the 'cologne guy' is his lack of discernment. He misunderstands time and place. Since most men/boys start using scented products in clubbing evironments in order to appeal to women, some of them end up applying the same/similar amount for casual or even work environments. Which usually leads to some sort of conversation

A major reason for the beastly performance of many modern designer fragrances is that they're designed to cut through competing smells and still smell good. They're made to be worn (and to work) in a club.

10+ sprays of a big performer is fine in the right environment. Particularly when you add alcohol (and drugs) in to the mix. Given how many houses and fragrances are implicitly or explicitly using fetishistic ideas and images as part of the marketing, it would be surprising if some brands aren't testing their fragrances with test subjects in some sort of chemically-altered state.

 

[dealt7faux]

If anybody purchases a fragrances for compliments I have a feeling it would be the ones in their late teens and 20's or those who are trying to impress others or one in particular.
For me, nope.

 

[PStoller]

I wear fragrances primarily for myself and secondarily for my wife, with everyone else a very distant third. I don’t seek compliments, though I appreciate them.

I don’t apply much—I’ve never worn 10 sprays of anything!—but because I’m constantly trying new things (with untested sprayers), I occasionally misjudge. This only happens when I’m not going out; I don’t socialize in “mystery frags.” So, no harm, no foul (odor).

 

[milkbaby]

So if you're only pleasing yourself, then would you or would you not still be master of your own domain? 🤔😅

Why shouldn’t anyone be the master of their own domain? If you don’t know how to take care of your own “domain”—it is, after all, yours and always has been before it was touched by anyone else—you can’t expect anyone else to know.

Just in case your reply was entirely serious, I'll just leave this here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Contest

If you were replying in the same spirit as I was, then 😂👍👏

 

[SixCats]

Just in case your reply was entirely serious, I'll just leave this here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Contest

If you were replying in the same spirit as I was, then 😂👍👏

Hi milkbaby, LOL, Ooh I got the connection right away! Too funny!

SixCats!

 

[ultravisitor]

Just in case your reply was entirely serious, I'll just leave this here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Contest

If you were replying in the same spirit as I was, then 😂👍👏

I've seen it.

 

[Misschronicallyfab]

False. I've always been a little contrary, never given a sh*t of what's "in", generally accepted or expected. If I feel happy/ great doing xyz, wearing xyz it's the deciding factor.

So, no I never buy or wear a fragrance with the (sole) intention of attracting a man - though after years & years of being single perhaps I should 😆 - or to get complimented.

I also wear men's fragrances or 'winter' in summer, as long as (and this is the only situation where I DO take others into account) it doesn't bother the company I'm in. If I go out to dinner I would hate for a certain loud perfume to ruin the appetite of my company and fellow eaters.

Even when in a steady relationship I do not alter my fragrance application. Usually said partner was attracted to the type of scents I used in the first place and changing yourself for another, even when it starts with scent, can be a slippery slope. If a partner is a fan of a perfume I already own I definitely wouldn't mind wearing that more often on date nights or snuggled up on the couch if that particular fragrance suits my mood that day too, though.

Compliments are always nice. A cute bonus, but not what I go for when applying my SOTD.

Having said all that, videos like "The Top 10 fragrances that will make her crazy" or "Summer perfumes that'll make him hot for you" and all that jazz must be popular for a reason...