I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

beltz

Super Member
Mar 20, 2007
Some of you may have heard of that perfume that is supposed to smell like a lady's private parts. I ordered it and shared it with coworkers, for science and for fun.

First, if you ordered it, you would be disappointed twice. I thought it would get me a 50ml cologne bottle, but it is actually a 2 ml vial, with an oily liquid in it. It isn't oily like a perfume oil - it is more oily like a water based lube, or like a ... natural lubricant. That part was well done.

You will be disappointed again with the smell. My coworkers agreed in general that it has "something" that you can associate with a woman's parts, but unless you are told so, you might not even make the association. But it could smell like... another animal's parts. I wouldn't know, but it does smell "kinky", and like a natural liquid could. Just not close enough to what I, or my coworkers have experienced.

Don't worry though, it does not smell dirty or disgusting. There was a video review on youtube where people recoiled at the smell, but I don't think you would have this reaction unless an actual, male stranger made you smell his finger like they did in the review.

Maybe some people will wear this on their wrist for personal enjoyment, and it isn't bad, although it is not in any way a "perfume". The 2 ml vial will last a long time too.

By the way, the only coworker who kinda liked it was a female coworker. I told her what it was, she tried it, then she said - and I kid you not - "Smells like piss. It's quite good." :eek: Sadly, she is already married.

Another funny but sad note: All but one coworker preferred Vulva to Assam Kinam, a 100$ 0.5 ml vial of Oud I bought at Oriscent. But I think social pressure caused this. None of them gave it a serious try and they didn't seem interested in really giving themselves a chance to grow to like it, it was more fun to say "it smells like shit" in a group. My one coworker who actually tends to try new things in life (he has thousands of spices, natural oils, etc.) ended up really, really loving the oud.
 
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jenson

Basenotes Dependent
Nov 19, 2007
sounds bearable enough to begin with....atleast not like the migraine inducing Secretions magnifiques...
 

brianroy

Super Member
Oct 6, 2008
Smells like piss. It's quite good." Sadly, she is already married.

So you feel attracted to women who like the smell of piss :p

I don't know if the smell of a vulva is something good. Make no mistake I love vulvas, but if there's any smell down there this is not necessarily a good thing
 

anak

Basenotes Dependent
Jul 3, 2002
My feelings on the subject:

I love the smell of meat. A nice steak mmmmmm, cajun tuna mmmmm, mesquite chicken mmmmm, flame broiled hamburger mmmmmm, a vulva mmmmm but I would never like to smell like any of them.

- Al
 

HDS1963

Basenotes Dependent
Oct 26, 2007
Fairly recently I accidentally ended up in bed with a woman I know (yes it's possible). We didn't have sex but I did go down on her, several times actually (I do rather enjoy visits to that area). For the rest of the day up until me showering I kept getting this wonderful smell from time to time. It was from the moustache part of my goatee ensemble. It was a delicious and sexy smell.

If Vulva smells anything like vulva, then yummy frankly. Kiehls Musk or MKK are a poor second IMO.
 

ToughCool

More Cool Than Tough
Basenotes Plus
Jun 12, 2008
My feelings on the subject:

I love the smell of meat. A nice steak mmmmmm, cajun tuna mmmmm, mesquite chicken mmmmm, flame broiled hamburger mmmmmm, a vulva mmmmm but I would never like to smell like any of them.

- Al

Exactly. That is the part that I will never get about this hobby...people wanting to actually smell bad or like certain things just to do it.. I'm sorry but experimental for me will never be smeling like a body part, a secretion or anything of that nature just to say I did it. I buy for myself to enjoy and hopefully for others to share that enjoyment. Grossing people out isn't included in it. Now I know the depth of this hobby for some goes this far and the actually like it. I just will never get there. I love this smell and experience when I'm there in person but don't want to spray it on.
 
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beltz

Super Member
Mar 20, 2007
I think some people get those more kinky fragrances for their own enjoyment though. Many find MKK downright sexy or sexual, and would wear it at home, or want their lover to wear it during intimate moments.

In my case, I'm a guy, and I buy feminine perfumes to wear at home only because as much as I like the smell of a women wearing perfume, I might as well smell that when I'm alone too. And other scents such as aoud, I find a bit too off-putting to wear outside, but I wear at home because I love smelling my arm every few minutes when I wear this.

Vulva is probably like that too, someone who finds it kinky would wear it at home, pajamas around his ankles, ya know?
 

Snafoo

Basenotes Plus
Basenotes Plus
Dec 5, 2006
Exactly. That is the part that I will never get about this hobby...people wanting to actually smell bad or like certain things just to do it.. I'm sorry but experimental for me will never be smeling like a body part, a secretion or anything of that nature just to say I did it. I buy for myself to enjoy and hopefully for others to share that enjoyment. Grossing people out isn't included in it. Now I know the depth of this hobby for some goes this far and the actually like it. I just will never get there. I love this smell and experience when I'm there in person but don't want to spray it on.
I remember reading a thread somewhere in the dusty Basenotes archives regarding the misconception that Japanese don't like fragrance. I think the point was that they (and this is obviously a generalization) in fact do enjoy fragrance, just not applied to the body, i.e. incense, etc. I suppose it makes sense in a way - if you don't like a smell, you can just walk away or move to another space, whereas when you annoint yourself, you're pretty much stuck with it for a while. For myself, I like smelling odd fragrances, but there are a select few that I wouldn't wear in public for the same reasons you mentioned, tc.
 

ToughCool

More Cool Than Tough
Basenotes Plus
Jun 12, 2008
I remember reading a thread somewhere in the dusty Basenotes archives regarding the misconception that Japanese don't like fragrance. I think the point was that they (and this is obviously a generalization) in fact do enjoy fragrance, just not applied to the body, i.e. incense, etc. I suppose it makes sense in a way - if you don't like a smell, you can just walk away or move to another space, whereas when you annoint yourself, you're pretty much stuck with it for a while. For myself, I like smelling odd fragrances, but there are a select few that I wouldn't wear in public for the same reasons you mentioned, tc.

Well said. I get that many here enjoy the differences and nuances of scents and that includes pushing the limits...and some love the different smells. I just think that testing it to see what it is like or personally using it and buying a scent are two different things. We are all here for different reasons. Just knowing myself, I could be here 3 years and this isn't an area I would venture to no matter how advanced I get. Again, I think it is fascinating that people want to try it and like it. Just not my cup of tea....well vulva is...not just as a cream or spray on..;)
 
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Amit

Basenotes Dependent
Dec 7, 2005
I did go down on her, several times actually (I do rather enjoy visits to that area). For the rest of the day up until me showering I kept getting this wonderful smell from time to time. It was from the moustache part of my goatee ensemble. It was a delicious and sexy smell.

*looks arouns shiftily*

Completely agreed, although I don't keep a moustache or a goatee myself :p
 

SculptureOfSoul

Basenotes Institution
Jul 2, 2005
How is the longevity on that? I'd imagine it's better than the male counterpart - Wang - which many find has longevity measured in mere minutes.

:bounce:
 

SculptureOfSoul

Basenotes Institution
Jul 2, 2005
I'm actually curious to try this, just to see if it can render some of the same instinctual responses as the actual odor. I'm very intrigued by the use of human elements in perfume - not typically as straightforward as this but human elements wrapped into a larger concept (eg: Mugler Cologne's S-note).
 

Chestnut

Super Member
Jul 27, 2008
Well you guys are funny. My husband has been looking up as I've read this saying "how could you be laughing about perfume?"
 

Domingo

Basenotes Junkie
Aug 29, 2006
I'm actually curious to try this, just to see if it can render some of the same instinctual responses as the actual odor. I'm very intrigued by the use of human elements in perfume - not typically as straightforward as this but human elements wrapped into a larger concept (eg: Mugler Cologne's S-note).
Don't bother, it's mainly smells of cumin.

Of course I was curious about this too a couple of years ago, but it probably smells like the private parts of a 400 pound woman who eats two large plates of curry six times a day. Not that I actually ever really smelled that, btw, but I do have a vivid imagination.


Unfortunately...
 

Sugandaraja

Moderator
Basenotes Plus
Aug 28, 2007
Vulva? I would have loved to see the brainstorming session when they were searching for a title for this one - Eau D'Pussy, Cuntessence, Quim For Him, Muffsouko...
 
P

Pollux

Guest
Isn't it Aqua Vulva?

Saw it in one of Ren & Stimpy's episodes, a very horny duck applies itself tons of Aqua Vulva in order to seduce Stimpy, to no avail since Ren atacks him and, well, faints.

Wonder it smells like... sea fruits, or fish.

Would like to try it, as well as ELDO's Secretions Magnifiques. Unfortunately, unavailable down here.
 
P

Pollux

Guest
Now those are some rather creative names :eek:

Someone already did: Pussy De Luxe, by Maurer & Wirtz -

http://www.m-w.de/english/product-pussydeluxe.html

Seen the pic? Wonder what my wife would think if I would give it for her b'day - "C'mon honey! This won't do... you already had enough sex for the whole year".

BTW, no perfume won't work as good as a good conversation regarding perfumes - I believe the topic is a catcher for the ladies. Yesterday I got ten samples from a lady working as an SA (and she was gorgeous) at a local dept store after trying some fragrances and holding a thirty minute long conversation about personal tastes and preferences.
 

jujy54

queen of the universe
Basenotes Plus
Jun 8, 2008
Don't worry though, it does not smell dirty or disgusting.

Well, of course not! Vaginas aren't dirty in the first place. Now, I don't have vast experience in this area, and here at BN, I'm amongst friends so...I smell wonderful. With me as the reference vulva, I'll suggest women are salt-water marine with a soupçon of beeswax, coriander, and on some days a bit of the civet, but just a bit. Vaginas ought to smell like what they are: warm, cozy, and inviting. Of course in the right intimate situation, one could simply layer a bit of one's own "original" with a fragrance, "lama lo?" ("why not?")
 

walkdogg

Basenotes Junkie
Apr 24, 2012
The cost of this stuff is nearly double that of a Clive Christianson fragrance. When looking at the cost per ML, Vulva is nearly $12-13 per ML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Insanity.
 

Rüssel

Basenotes Institution
Dec 23, 2010
I was smelling of vulva on a tube train once, nobody said anything but it felt a bit awkward.
 

Nosebud

Basenotes Junkie
Oct 10, 2012
Fairly recently I accidentally ended up in bed with a woman I know (yes it's possible). We didn't have sex but I did go down on her, several times actually (I do rather enjoy visits to that area). For the rest of the day up until me showering I kept getting this wonderful smell from time to time. It was from the moustache part of my goatee ensemble. It was a delicious and sexy smell.

If Vulva smells anything like vulva, then yummy frankly. Kiehls Musk or MKK are a poor second IMO.

... paying for benefits you never collect?
 
C

CologneFan85

Guest
Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

My bud just showed me a commercial of this. Had some chick sniffing her own pa.ties . Pretty rancid

- - - Updated - - -

My bud just showed me a commercial of this. Had some chick sniffing her own pa.ties . Pretty rancid
 

easykiller

Basenotes Junkie
Feb 7, 2010
Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

My friends, remember this axiom

If it smell like fish, do what you wish
If it smells like cologne, leave it alone
 

kimo

Basenotes Dependent
Jan 4, 2012
I am not surprised that people don't like oud to start with, it smells pungent but once it grows on you, it starts smelling great (at least to you).

Amusing story, glad you are not my friend. I am always intriguing by who comes up with this type of perfume and what is the market they are after.
 

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