Do You Share Fragrances?

ambergeese

Basenotes Member
Sep 7, 2022
Lots of people say they like to smell unique. Does anyone here actually enjoy sharing fragrances -- say, with a partner or family member -- that you both like? How does sharing a scent make you feel? Would you ever wear one at the same time, or at least try to alternate?

I've really, really been loving SJP's Stash lately. This morning as I put it on, my boyfriend reached his wrists out and I sprayed some on him too, and we went our separate ways for the work day. On one hand, it feels really interesting and nice that we're experiencing the same thing while apart. It also feels kind of like we're wearing matching outfits or something?

But there's also something about it that crushes the magic of the scent a little bit. I think part of wearing fragrance is the fantasy that this isn't a product, you smell like this. That this beautiful thing is unique and integral to you, not something mass-produced anyone could have. And smelling it on someone else deflates that a little bit.

Serge Lutens' Five O'Clock Au Gingembre used to be one of my favorite perfumes. Then my dad smelled it and liked it. I was thrilled and gave him a decant. It makes him really happy. But now I never find myself really reaching for my own decant anymore. It feels like it's "his" now.

I'm not someone who is outwardly adamant about wanting to look and smell unique. I just want to wear what I like, and don't care how designer or niche, overplayed or pretentious it is. But it also feels weird wearing something when it's a favorite of someone you know.

I'm curious what feelings people have around this sort of thing. Does anyone like to share, or feel like it brings you closer to someone? Have you ever sort of felt over a fragrance because someone you know started to wear it?
 

Bonnette

Missing Oakmoss
Basenotes Plus
Jul 25, 2015
My husband and I both wear Havana, and I've never thought anything about it...probably because it's still in production and not hard to repurchase. I wouldn't care to share near-irreplaceable vintage treasures, though.
 

LeChypreSexy

Super Member
Oct 13, 2022
Lots of people say they like to smell unique. Does anyone here actually enjoy sharing fragrances -- say, with a partner or family member -- that you both like? How does sharing a scent make you feel? Would you ever wear one at the same time, or at least try to alternate?

I've really, really been loving SJP's Stash lately. This morning as I put it on, my boyfriend reached his wrists out and I sprayed some on him too, and we went our separate ways for the work day. On one hand, it feels really interesting and nice that we're experiencing the same thing while apart. It also feels kind of like we're wearing matching outfits or something?

But there's also something about it that crushes the magic of the scent a little bit. I think part of wearing fragrance is the fantasy that this isn't a product, you smell like this. That this beautiful thing is unique and integral to you, not something mass-produced anyone could have. And smelling it on someone else deflates that a little bit.

Serge Lutens' Five O'Clock Au Gingembre used to be one of my favorite perfumes. Then my dad smelled it and liked it. I was thrilled and gave him a decant. It makes him really happy. But now I never find myself really reaching for my own decant anymore. It feels like it's "his" now.

I'm not someone who is outwardly adamant about wanting to look and smell unique. I just want to wear what I like, and don't care how designer or niche, overplayed or pretentious it is. But it also feels weird wearing something when it's a favorite of someone you know.

I'm curious what feelings people have around this sort of thing. Does anyone like to share, or feel like it brings you closer to someone? Have you ever sort of felt over a fragrance because someone you know started to wear it?
My taste in scent is so far beyond what everyone else currently likes I'll never have this problem. Lucky me I suppose.
 

chypre

Basenotes Dependent
Oct 10, 2006
I don't see any fragrance as a mark of uniqueness, so I'm usually happy to share if they liked it. There are a small handful of scents that, through decades of use and personal associations, have become scents I emotionally identify with. If it's one of those scents, then having someone else wear it around me might diminish the scent association. (And I admit, selfishly or not, the idea does not thrill me). But for any other scent, I'd be very pleased if they enjoyed it.
 

CuddleCat

It smells so good in here
Moderator
Basenotes Plus
Aug 20, 2009
I've shared fragrances with my husband, son and daughter and they don't smell identical on any of us. Different notes will be either amplified or decreased when applied to our skin, sometimes it is subtle but with some fragrances it is like we are wearing totally different scents. I do have an extreme heightened sense of smell (hyperosmia) so I may notice the differences more but with some of the perfumes even my family will really notice the differences!
 

fragconn

Basenotes Member
Mar 29, 2022
I wouldn´t mind sharing with my family but sadly, my husband is the fragrance-free shampoo & neutral soap type and does not wear any perfume. At all. I tried encouraging my daughter to make free use of my perfumes, but she has always refused to do so. She discovered CH Good Girl when she was 19 and no Coromandel or Delina had the power to tempt her away from that shoe. Only my son enjoys wearing perfume daily but obviously he refuses to smell like mom. However, when it comes to perfumes being worn by others, I treat them like their private property. I will compliment the person and even ask the name but as a rule of thumb, I will not purchase that perfume because imho it is something very personal and I would feel I'm overstepping. So if that person would offer to share their fragrance with me I would politely decline to do so.
 

ILikePeeps

Basenotes Plus
Basenotes Plus
May 15, 2012
I've been getting my gf into perfume more, and surprisingly(?) her taste is actually rather... non-typical, lol. Early 30's and she enjoys/wears Polo & Kouros. Other typical stuff as well, but it's nice that she enjoys and wants to wear this stuff also! She just received her semi-vintage (2010) Kouros yesterday as well, lol
 

ambergeese

Basenotes Member
Sep 7, 2022
These are all such lovely stories! Thank you all for sharing. It's interesting how these ideas of "perfume can be deeply personal and emotional for me" and "it's nice to share the scents I like with others" can intermingle and coexist (and also interesting to see how some people seem to be entirely on one side or the other!)

I love giving away samples and decants to others I think I would enjoy them more, but those are cases when I've decided those wouldn't absolutely make the cut as some of my favorite fragrances, as I'm a bit of a minimalist as to what I keep or buy more of. And I'm certainly always happy to tell people what I'm wearing. Sometimes it just seems like, once I've decided something I love suits someone else even better, it becomes "theirs" in my mind, and wearing it much myself feels like overstepping somehow, even if I wore it first, lol. But I don't mind too much, since there's so much great stuff out there to try, and it makes me happy to see people wear things they love! 💚
 

cazaubon

Moderator
Moderator
Basenotes Plus
Jan 1, 2005
My husband and I both wear several fragrances out of our collections. No issues. The only bad experiences I’ve had were when a friend asked what perfume I was wearing, then they bought it for themselves - and it smelled terrible on them. Twice I had to get rid of my bottle because it put me off the fragrance, remembering how nauseating it smelled on the other person.
 

PStoller

I’m not old, I’m vintage.
Basenotes Plus
Aug 1, 2019
Although there are scents I prefer to leave to my wife (and others, she to me), I enjoy sharing others, and would be happy if she played with my wardrobe more. I also enjoy sharing with my fellow BNers, though that’s different in that we don’t share physical space.
 

StylinLA

Basenotes Dependent
Aug 9, 2009
I don't know really.

I suppose if when I was married if my wife liked something I had enough to wear it hereself, I would have been mostly okay with it, but if the bottle started to dwindle, I would make her get her own bottle.

Not sure how I would feel about us wearing the same scent. Not as in a threat to my masculinity, just sort of odd to smell the same. But that's partly based on the fact that when I was married I had only one or two scents; not the massive array I have now.
 

ascotnot

Super Member
Jul 11, 2014
A co-worker and I bring each other samples from time to time, but it's more of a "for what it's worth" kind of thing. Her tastes are more patrician (read: expensive) and she always brings me niche unisex stuff and I try to keep up with the most interesting stuff I can come up with. Neither of us ask whether the other ever tries them though. I think we both consider that to be an impolite question, one of those things that I personally think that if someone wanted me to know, they would just tell me.
 

cheapimitation

Basenotes Dependent
May 15, 2015
I want to be a generous person but when my significant other wants to wear something of mine I find myself saying "Sure anything you like!" But then they reach for something and I go "oh no, not that one. not that one either, it's so precious! can I interest you in these?
:directs them to the dark corner of fragrances I don't like so much:
 

Ahimsa

Super Member
Dec 2, 2016
I adore many that were my momma's favorites, but no, we didn't overlap. I definitely inherited her love of green scents, but we never wore the same perfumes during the same periods of time.

Also currently love my husbands taste in fragrance but he & I differ in preferred scent strength. He and my mom, actually, love incense above all. Norma Kamali falls into top position: it was my mom's favorite and it is his. And while I also love incense, I don't wear it often.

Now there were the teenage years when my friends & I all smelled like Coty's Wild Musk Oil , Love's Musky Jasmin, Masumi, Babe etc. Those are the years we seem to want to "fit in" rather than stand apart. We all smelled delish and guessed (mostly correctly) what another was wearing on the daily.
Those were some great smelling years and far less costly.


But these days? ... no, I prefer scented uniqueness.



by the by ...
My husband thought I was a bit nuts with this perfume thing when we reunited as adults (we were neighbors/pals as kids). Upon first visit, he lifted up the top of hat boxes where many perfumes reside and said, and I quote, "oh, it's much worse than I imagined." lol!
Now who owns Gucci Envy For Men and Donna Karan Chaos ... not I !!! :D 😲 His collection might be more interesting than my own and mine is pretty nice, if I may say so myself. ;)

Great, fun topic!
 

Monsieur Montana

Basenotes Dependent
Jan 14, 2015
Yes we do. I don’t usually wear her perfumes but she wears some of mine. She knows she can choose whatever she likes from my collection.
Colonia Intensa, Grey Flannel, Sycomore are a few examples that ended in buying her her own bottles.
She has her own collection of very nice perfumes but most of them are very feminine and I prefer wearing mine :)
 

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