Curse of the Tea Rose

I confess, Holiday shopping is not my favorite pastime. I consider myself a planner but Holiday shopping is my choice procrastination. I understand, it tends to be a thing we men seem to do.
This particular Holiday season would be a bit easier as I decided to give most of those on my gift list the gift of perfume or cologne. And I chose to begin my Dec. 23rd excursion heading to a local well-known discount store which would be the first of many stops I needed to make that day.

Upon entering the store and hitting the fragrance area, there appeared to be many fragrances still available. Despite the rude elbows and carts that invaded by space, I found some great fragrance. Many were open boxes. Some were damaged by overzealous lookers and rude box openers. While reaching for a box of "White Shoulders" that my sister had requested, I had to move another box out of the way ... "Tea Rose". I did not noticed the stain on the box. Horrors that the Tea Rose bottle was leaking and proceeded to drip profusely on my hand and arm. It was awful! Tea Rose soaked through my jacket sleeve and permeated my senses to the point of nausea. The oily base of this concoction soaked deep into my pores. That was it for my shopping at this store.

I stood in a long checkout line feeling much like the cartoon skunk Pepe le Pew. While checking my items out the clerk (and other shoppers in line) looked at me in disgust. The clerk turned away to avoid the stench that was me. She talked through her nose to avoid breathing my air. I handed her my credit card that now had been infected with Tea Rose since it had contact with my hand. I was truly embarassed. My head pounded from the strong odor.

I headed to the nearby Mall to finish my shopping but first ran to the Mall mens room in attempt to try and get this stuff off. At the mens room sink I scrubbed and washed and scrubbed again. And again. There was no way I could get this odor off. I was condemned to spending this Holiday season smelling like a Tea Rose.

Finally reaching my apartment I grabbed some aspirin and then headed to the shower.

An hour of showering did not take this stuff off. Heaven help me! I decided to take a bath. I soaked for half an hour and managed to get most of the scent off but traces still lingered for a few days. By New Years Eve it was gone. The best Holiday gift ever!

This New Years Eve I was coaxed by my friend Lucy to go on a blind date with a co worker of hers who recently went though a long divorce.

When I arrived to pick up my date, Mary Ellen, I could not believe my nose. Mary Ellen had doused herself in that most awful perfume that I had so desperately worked to get out of my memory. Not only did she contaminate my car with Tea Rose but we had an hour drive to the New Years party. The temperature was 30 degrees that evening but my car windows were down. It was difficult driving and holding my nose at the same time but I managed. That was our first and last date but the memory of Tea Rose still lasts like a bad hangover.

Note: Tea Rose lovers, please do not take offense. I am sure in moderation this scent could be a nice experience.

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