Are the fragrances you wear influenced by your significant other? Do you tailor your wardrobe to complement/match their perfume choices?

[slpfrsly]

This question is naturally aimed at the basenoters who are married, or in long term relationships.

Do you consider what your wife/husband wears? Of course, I'm mainly talking about fragrances, but clothing and jewellery/other accessories are not irrelevant to the discussion, either.

And if you do consider what they wear, what does this mean for you? To what extent, if any, do you aim to have a complementary combination of fragrances between the two of you? Is this a daily consideration, or something only applicable to special occasions?

How have you shaped one another's wardrobes? Not just in terms of personal preference on a case by case basis: have you found yourself moving towards a shared aesthetic middle ground in any way? There's a kind of modern folklore that holds that couples will tend to grow more alike in appearance over time - so it's interesting to consider if this applies to aesthetic (perfume, clothing) choices for enthusiasts, or whether it is a more solitary pursuit.

Thanks and please feel free to discuss and elaborate on the topic as you see fit. 🙂

Pictures included without comment...

 

[Pippin06]

When my wife compliments a fragrance I'm wearing, it means a lot to me. I wear fragrances for myself, and otherwise couldn't care less about compliments. We dress for ourselves, and never try to wear outfits that complement each other's. My wife's style is "Boho," and mine is conservative. We do compliment each other if we particularly like an outfit, shoes or piece of jewelry the other is wearing.

 

[hednic]

To answer the thread question - They don't matter to me at all.

 

[freewheelingvagabond]

Never really mattered during the times I've been in relationships.

 

[Nastka]

My better half doesn't like a good chunk of my (fragrance) wardrobe. And that's fine, I simply wear it when we're not spending time together, or in smaller doses.

We sometimes wear complimentary fragrances, but this is once in a blue moon, and just for a laugh.

In terms of clothing, I never really thought about it, but our styles are rather similar. We're not fashionable people. My partner is more put together at work (senior management), but we were both kinda 'normcore' outside of our professional lives before it even was a trend.

 

[lfc1892]

Doesn’t matter at all. Of course it’s nice if she can enjoy and like what I’m wearing, but it’s not a requirement

 

[donna255]

I don't care, if I do get a complement which is rare I just say, Oh, thank you. It doesn't impact on me really or my choice of fragrance.

 

[Zenwannabee]

My wife and I couldn’t be more different that way. I love fragrances and, with few exceptions, she’s either indifferent to them or finds them too strong (on me, herself, or others). The other day she had a black long sleeve shirt on and I was wearing a black short sleeve one. I told her I had patent pending on that ensemble… 😀

Seriously, if she compliments me on a fragrance I feel honored. But you can bet it will be a patchouli/mossy vs. powdery scent every time. And I wear both often as a litmus test. But as with any relationship, complementing (and complimenting) each other makes for a good team.

 

[imm0rtelle]

I personally like it when a couple looks like a couple with a similar "style language". It makes them feel like a unit, a team.

I actually would prefer for her to wear my fragrances. I gauge which fragrances in my wardrobe I feel fits her personality and tastes, then I slowly introduce the idea of that fragrance to her. Although I'm interested in fragrances, I wouldn't consider myself an enthusiast. I feel like I still am grounded enough to understand fragrance as a fashion accessory. I don't like experiencing fragrances in a "vacuum". I feel like fragrances are meant to be worn for an audience in mind, and that it is incomplete without the right wearer. It needs to be paired with the correct individual to make it "come alive". The right individual paired with the right fragrance will create a the whole is greater than the sum of its parts effect.

 

[Mythrol]

On a scale of 1-10 of how much I care about compliments the answer is 0. It's nice when my wife compliments me and I try not to wear stuff I know she hates when I'm around her but it does not affect my day in the least if I don't receive any compliments.

 

[N.CAL Fragrance Reviewer]

For me fragrance complements are irrelevant, only thing matters is do I like the fragrance and what occasion I want to wear them.

 

[Franco65]

She's used to my different scents and she rarely compliment me, only one she has forgiven me to buy was The Night by Frederic Malle....

 

[LinePlaneVolume]

My partner is highly outspoken about loves and hates... sometimes she swoons, other times she scrunches her face. I do my best to work around the latter and only wear them when I'm out and about, or when she's out of town, but her hating something doesn't make me like it any less. We don't dress alike, per-se, but we do dress in a relatively complementary manner. She's an artist, I'm a designer, we are both particular.

 

[Schubertian]

On a scale of 1-10 of how much I care about compliments the answer is 0. It's nice when my wife compliments me and I try not to wear stuff I know she hates when I'm around her but it does not affect my day in the least if I don't receive any compliments.

Likewise, I absolutely do not care. It would bother me if my partner actively hated one of my favourite fragrances, because I wouldn't want to wear it around them in that case and I'd have less opportunity to enjoy it myself; but otherwise it's a zero for me, too.

 

[The Cologne Cabinet]

My wife is cool with the majority of my wardrobe, her issue is with dosage, so I will wear one I know she enjoys and go lighter on the trigger for a date night.

 

[slpfrsly]

Apologies all, I was wondering about complementary fragrances i.e. fragrances that match or pair well with each other. Not compliments.

The topic title was a bit garbled, I will admit. I'll edit it now. In my defence, when I posted this I was very, very...

 

[Franco65]

snatched a compliment this morning with Riverside drive!

 

[slpfrsly]

I personally like it when a couple looks like a couple with a similar "style language". It makes them feel like a unit, a team.

View attachment 326069

I actually would prefer for her to wear my fragrances. I gauge which fragrances in my wardrobe I feel fits her personality and tastes, then I slowly introduce the idea of that fragrance to her. Although I'm interested in fragrances, I wouldn't consider myself an enthusiast. I feel like I still am grounded enough to understand fragrance as a fashion accessory. I don't like experiencing fragrances in a "vacuum". I feel like fragrances are meant to be worn for an audience in mind, and that it is incomplete without the right wearer. It needs to be paired with the correct individual to make it "come alive". The right individual paired with the right fragrance will create a the whole is greater than the sum of its parts effect.

Great post. I tend to agree - although there is a fine line between familiarity and co-dependence. I have been unfortunate enough to experience one or two girlfriends who veer towards the latter, which includes imitation to the point of almost absorbing part of me (or at least seeking to) and merging with one another.

However, I think there's something nice about coherence. Particularly in this day and age: you might call it 'individualism' but really it's more like a lack of standards (the number of people who are content to go outside in their pyjamas is insane). One of the consequences of having normality chased from the public square is everyone ends up with their own weird little idiosyncracies, wrapped in their own bubble, and I think that extends to clothing and fragrance. With fragrance, it's never just about the wearer - you're right to say it cannot be experienced in a vacuum because fragrance is always a participation with the environment and the people nearby.

I'm much more aware of what I'm wearing these days, aware of the effect the fragrance gives off in to the near surroundings. I wonder how common this is in relationships, or if it's something you grow in to (or out of)?

 

[hednic]

Apologies all, I was wondering about complementary fragrances i.e. fragrances that match or pair well with each other.

In that case, on a very rare occasion is my fragrance influenced by wife.

 

[showpony]

My husband is not into fragrance at all. He has a handful of bottles but he hasn’t worn any for ages. He tolerates me and will occasionally throw a “that smells good” my way and if he hates what I have on, he keeps that to himself 🤣 He does buy excellent perfume gifts, as he is guided by our daughter.

After rereading I totally missed the original point 😅 Complement vs compliment 😬😬😬 Sartorially we complement one another, but I’m the only smelly one.

 

[slpfrsly]

My husband is not into fragrance at all. He has a handful of bottles but he hasn’t worn any for ages. He tolerates me and will occasionally throw a “that smells good” my way and if he hates what I have on, he keeps that to himself 🤣 He does buy excellent perfume gifts, as he is guided by our daughter.

After rereading I totally missed the original point 😅 Complement vs compliment 😬😬😬 Sartorially we complement one another, but I’m the only smelly one.

Not to worry - an easy mistake to make considering how often compliments enter the discussion around fragrances.

 

[motorcade]

No.

It's very rare for my wife to wear a fragrance (applies to the vast majority of people where I'm located). Frankly, I'm not even sure if she has much if any left in her ancient bottle or two. I don't think she has bought a single new bottle during our time together (20+ years).

So... I wear what I wear, and luckily she rarely complains (it helps that I have a sensitive nose and spray in moderation). I do ask for her opinion almost daily though, to which she usually just replies something nondecsript like "Ok I guess". I know her answer already, but I can't resist the urge to keep asking/pestering anyway.

 

[Monsieur Montana]

Both of us are interested in perfumery and have our own collections. Sometimes my wife wears a few of my perfumes more than me.
That led me in buying bottles of those perfumes for her collection/personal use.

We really enjoy wearing perfumes, we compliment each other almost daily and ask each other (most of the times it's me asking 🙃) what the other thinks of a particular perfume (new aquisitions, samples or perfumes we havent worn for long time).

Generally i do not get influenced by her choices and vice-versa. I have bought (for the first time) a combi perfume-duo yesterday (both the masculine and feminine versions of a discontinued perfume she still wears and she doesn't know it yet) because she said the masculine version was great.

I have to admit that she is the only person that can change my early morning decision in the "what i will wear today" section.
If i know she is not very fond of a perfume i try not to wear it when i spend the whole day with her (weekend, travels etc.) and just re-plan the wear for a day i will be "away" at work.
This happens mostly with my vintage collection perfumes. She says that the majority of my vintage perfume collection "smells the same" . 🫣Sacrilege my dear Gentlemen, Sacrilege!