L'Air des Alpes Suisses 
Tauer (2019)

Alchymia. Perfumare. Magnum Opus.

A case of psychology: Hard Candy meets Mr. Detergent

Come on, what is this?! Alps? Air? With “L'Air du Désert Marocain” the mess was at least somehow more structured.

There are some houses that have such a particular signature by the virtue of which they are both so very recognizable and predictable. And often – unpalatable. This is my experience with some huge ones like Creed, Amouage, Frederic Malle, Acqua di Parma. At some point I just stopped trying them because little underneath they had identical architecture (their signature) which I didn’t like and lost further interest. They started smelling the same and it felt like unmasking some hidden dirty secret – a realization from which there is no turning back.

Although not as huge, Tauer joins these houses big time. This is just my second attempt at a perfume from Tauer, but it feels like I have tried much more of Tauer’s formulations and it has the exact same signature as “L'Air du Désert Marocain” – the same audacious harshness, traumatized loudness and impatient concoction of elements that just makes me cry “Relax for heaven’s sake!”. There is absolutely no idea of grace or nobility in these perfumes. And although I will approach this maturely and will be ordering two more Tauer samples, I am now certain they will share the same characteristics. This is a case of psychology where the artist is caught up in a subconscious pattern and keeps on reproducing similar concepts and themes and in a similar fashion, which eventually and inevitably become redundant and whoever interacts with this “art” is just a witness to the artist’s therapeutic process, which is in essence far from genuine artistic expression and creation. This being said, if I happen to be wrong about the other of Tauer’s fragrances – all the better, I will gladly admit it.

But back to the thingy at hand. Again – alps and air? Hard candy profusely sprinkled with detergent, rather. Phew! I am almost at an awe how I am having the exact same experience here as with “L'Air du Désert Marocain” – the experience of complete detachment of the olfactory experience in relation to the purported initial concept. And before I am accused of being myself too subjective, I don’t think the idea of a high mountain and its air can have extreme interpretations. Clarity, purity, crystalline qualities, freshness, stillness, invigoration, breath of life, solitude; coniferous, herbal and mountain flowers aromas (none that I detect in “L'Air des Alpes Suisses”); naturality, naturality and did I say – naturality? These come to mind with the idea of alpine air. What I smell in “L'Air des Alpes Suisses” is an agonizing and desperate attempt to make peace between the tonka bean and the birch, with tormented lavender trying to join the party, all of which fails miserably and ends up literally with what I would describe as hard candy soaked in detergent. Outrageous. And I am not masochistic enough to force myself to go beyond this in a vain attempt to catch some other notes and redeeming qualities of this Frankenstein creation.

These houses are trying too hard to be original. Whom are the trying to fool? Someone has to tell them that beauty never gets old, only those who cannot perceive it. Artists should never lose the idea of beauty in an empty pursuit or originality just as they should never subject their audience to their therapeutic “art”.

Tauer, L'Air des Alpes Suisses:
Composition: 3.5/10
Complexity: 6.5/10
Development: 4.5/10
Naturality: 3/10

The official note list from Tauer's website reads:

Top notes: alpine herbs, air accord, granite
Heart notes: alpine lily, powdery notes, green notes, spicy notes
Base notes: larch, beech, soil

With notes as ambiguous and unclear as these, you really don't know what to expect. And what I expected (crisp cold air, grass, the smell of alpine trees) is not at all what I got.
The fragrance opens up really great with fresh clean aldehydes that actually give a sense of openness and fresh air, but there is something strange and bubblegum-like underneath the surface waiting to pop up. This worried me a bit, and as the perfume progressed, I just felt the bubblegum grow as well as the laundry-like aldehydes along with a lot of powder. When the heart notes were in full power it was almost nauseating (and I sprayed two sprays!) and nothing like swiss alp air (which is a smell I love, and one I have smelled more than a couple times). This kept going for a long time and at this time I was considering scrubbing it off, but I prevailed, thinking the base would redeem it. Unfortunately my bravery didn't pay off, and in the end I was only left with a strong powdery scent.

This misses the mark completely in my opinion, but would probably work for people who love powdery aldehyde detergent bombs. Even so, this wouldn't smell like the swiss alps.