Dark Ride
Xyrena (2015)

Xyrena is an odd brand to me, and it seems their stuff is very polarizing. I wanted to like this, I really did. That being said, this stuff is putrid. Do not buy unless you want it for a halloween party or a halloween haunt event, which is pretty much the only acceptable locations to wear it. As a huge fan of amusement parks and indoor dark rides like Pirates of the Caribbean, I tried it just out of pure curiosity. I was hoping to smell that delicious chemical bromine from the water treatments they do in pirates of the caribbean, but unfortunately you get very little to none of that. I would describe it more like damp basement, ozone, musty moldy clothes, etc. To me it smelled very close to the Den of Thieves dark ride at Indiana Beach amusement park. It has a moldy smell as if a dark ride has been slowly rotting from water damage. So yes, it does smell like a particular type of dark ride, but NOT the type you want it to be.

Also, the worst (best?) part is that this stuff is nuclear strength. It will knock you over with one spray and it will last on your skin and clothing for A WEEK. I am not joking. In fact I think this stuff has the highest longevity of anything I have tried, and one spray around my neck had it lasting on the collar of my shirt for over a month, through repeated washings trying to get the stuff out. It's unbelievable how long the stuff lasts, and in this case I think that's a bad thing given how gross it is.

I understand and agree with the previous reviewer when they said it has a certain quality that makes you want to keep coming back to smell it. But then every time you smell it you think, "WHY did I do that?" It's the type of smell where you take one whiff and exclaim "GROSS" and then immediately turn to your friends and beg them to smell it too.

Please please please try a sample of this stuff and don't blind buy it, because there is a 99% chance you will hate it.

Dark Ride was a finalist at this years' IAO Awards and, for me, it was the standout of the night. I grabbed a bottle soon after and, while waiting for it to arrive, I wondered if I'd made a hideous mistake. The perfume claims to smell like a theme park water ride centered upon (among other industrial horrors) chlorine, but to me it splits the difference between a disinfected motel room and a urinal puck. While I'm sure this sounds horrifying, there's something totally compelling about it.

I've been wearing it for the past couple of weeks and I'm surprised by how much I'm enjoying it. Although I can't quite figure out how it ticks, it doesn't seem overly complicated; there's not a ton of development. However, there's enough nuance to elevate it beyond schlock experimentation. It conjures up highly synthetic imagery: astroturf, air vents, and a dental spittoon with an electrical charge running through it. My guess is that there's moss, a slice of maltol, and most likely a fistful of dimethyl hydroquinone – a crystalline material that, when diluted, smells like a mix of grass and the afore-mentioned (clean) urinal.

The scent wears like a robotic version of Lush's Dirty; there's an antiseptic, metallic quality to it but it's the touch of sweetness that balances it and makes it so amiable. Although the initial blast is unnerving, it dies down to what I'd describe as carbonated disinfectant. It's brisk and chilly and absolutely weird, but it's also cheery, fun, and surprisingly well done. Nobody should approach this scent expecting a technical masterpiece, and both the scent and over-the-top packaging underscore the irreverent nature of the brand, but Dark Ride's a great aura-style perfume that's priced fairly and makes palatable a disgusting concept. Weird but weirdly wearable, and totally enjoyable. It's one of the most unique scents I've smelled in some time.